thoughtshowerings

Oh yes, I am supposed to be spending my every single ounce of energy and time studying, but apparently, like many things in life, its easier said than done. Its kind of dull, not to mention exceedingly dry, like keropok to face paragraphs after paragraphs of font 8 words from my books. What about the endless repetitions at reading and re-reading the same sentence.

This pretty much sums up what I'm feeling now I guess

WOOHOO! End of prelims! Gosh you have no idea how great it felt. Like your brain has been relieved of some sort of heavy load. Yeahhh. But the papers were insanely tough. Looking at the qestions, it didnt even looked like anything I had learnt for 2 years? what the heck. I think the best day that I had for a long long time, was yesterday. We went to sentosa and basically let our hair down and enjoed ourselves like no tomorrow. It had a really warm, fuzzy feeling, because this was the first time that Zhiyan and friends had joined us for an outing. Its was rather heart warming(no, not because of the sun and the sun-tanning oil) and it made my day. It then suddenly struck me that friends largely made up a part of our lives. Imagine what it'll be like if one had no friends. How cold your world would be! People would just nothing but faceless mannequins in your life, transitions in your seemingly long but short life. Thats why i cant fully understand people who are solitary in nature.  ...

Its the period where life sort of takes a backseat. Life decided to simply walk out on me, leaving no instructions on what I am supposed to do without it, no small yellow post-it notes that bear contrasting black pen marks saying "look here" or anything like that. Its like life stopped me from visiting it, it hung a plain white sign embellished with words "Do Not Disturb" outside the mahogany wooden door knob. Life left me. =( ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ On the side note, I am quite amazed how easily human mind (or at least mine) gave in to cognitive and physical needs. Only yesterday, I was feeling absolutely drained and sucked dry of all essence. I tried my very best ( I think) to remain awake after dinner, but my whole body felt so weak, so limp that I simply could not even my eyes fully. My mind was engulfed with the thought that I must get sleep at all costs. It did not even consider the repe...

Alas! Just when one thinks that the grueling, essence sucking, brain devouring MYCTs are over and we, as free beings are allowed to roam the free earth, BOOM. The endless (may I add to highlight the severity) onslaught of twisted and foul remedials sink in. Everyday is a constant losing battle between revision packages and me. But remedials aside, lately, I think I have began to develop a nasty habit of forming "what ifs" situations in my head. "What if I were 1oo more times better looking?" "What if I were smarter?" "What if I exuded more charm?" And really silly and fictional thoughts. Which just makes me feel worse about myself. I think its kinda dangerous to develop such mentality, because it just makes me feel less and less confident about myself. Alright. I must stop all these negativity. I must channel all these negativity into action, action against the onslaught of twisted remedials! On the other hand, my muscles are growing! To put it i...

Results are back! I think this mid year I fared better than I expected although the probability of getting a U for Maths is like approximately one. But most of all, I felt extremely proud, of my Chemistry. I got a B! Its like some kind of dream come true. But I know that the paper was set easier on purpose. Somehow, deep within me, i knew that AJ's Chemistry standard should be way harder than that paper. Kinda felt half heartedly that I should have gotten an A. or at least a better quality B. Nonetheless, that B felt like a mini lion roaring in my heart. It totally made my entire week extremely enjoyable. GP was also a surprising grade of B overall, with a THIRTY TWO for essay. I nearly jumped up from my seat. So far all my essays have been hovering around the cursed 23 range. To get THIRTY TWO is like suddenly inheriting 1o million dollars from an unknown relative or like growing taller by 10cm overnight! Maybe it was because I had read a similar essay before the mids. Whatev...

I think I am suffering from a severe case of Bioritis. The last two days were simply saturated with BIOLOGY. I suspect my brain is gonna burst like some juicy tomato from all that Biology goodness. This afternoon my brain began to wonder off, having the weirdest fantasy (too juicy to be blogged) and made me re-read simple sentences more than 4 times to figure out what it was trying to say. In my opinion, the grades for bio has gone with the wind, not just gone, but gone-till-it-wont-come-back kind of gone. I can only pray (to whom I often wonder) that all these nightmares end promptly, like extinguishing the flame from the candle. And then I'll be free! Oh my. The idea of freedom has never been so appealing before. Makes me feel like doing a jiggle hollering "OOO LALA!" while clapping my hands and snapping my fingers. Never has the value of that word mean so much to me. Now I can exactly feel the way slaves felt all the way back during the 18th (?) century. The longing fo...