thoughtshowerings

I have been denied of pleasure for too long a time. I desperately want to go roller blading, ever since the last attempt to go roller blading was inevitably foiled, I have been thinking about it ever since. Not many people are on the same page as I am about roller blading, some prefer cycling, which makes my ass feel mighty uncomfortable/crampish after some while. Dont really know why I am so attracted to that particular sport, could be the adrenaline rush I guess. Blading very fast, knowing very well that I havent really master how to brake in an instant or perform sharp turns gives me the thrill. That's what it is all about isnt it? The thrill and surprise from unexpected turn of events. Some people like the routine lifestyle, knowing exactly what should happen next, down to the minutest of details, like what they are going to have to for dinner tomorrow at the exact restaurant. Catching the bus at 7.37pm so that they return home in time just to catch a television program. Missin...

最近不知怎么搞的，我整个人变得蛮情绪化。尤其是悲伤的部分，感到特别强烈。 也不知道为什么，看到感人或伤感的电影情节；男主角死在战场上，留下爱妻/女朋友/为战友挡飞弹等时，我心里好像被一支无形的手拧着，好不舒服。 感受就在这时候就莫名的，飞快的从心里一涌而上，直到眼球后面。 感觉上就像汹涌澎湃，来势汹汹的江水遇上巨大的水坝。 水坝巨大无比，缓和了江水的冲力，消掉了它的杀气。 但是水毕竟会找到莫个细缝，孱孱的流出，一滴一滴的。 不知不觉，视线有点模糊，也不知道为甚么会感到尴尬，还是赶快用衣袖抹干。 衣袖因为泪水而变得深色的部分慢慢的扩张。 这情形总是发生在观看有关战阵的电影时发生，让我感到好尴尬，觉得自己好傻，好天真，好怕让人看见。或许每一次我都会连想自己也如果被卷入战争，我会怎么做。 现在我都觉得自己好傻，好可笑。 怎么常发生在女生身上的事竟发生在我身上？ 流泪的感觉好难形容，没有发生的时候你会把它隔在一旁，更本不会去里它。 但当它来袭时，你身上的每一个毛孔都能感受到它。它的窜透力无法抵挡，说来就来。 想想一下，我也好久没有为了什么事而感到如此。并不是伤心而流的泪，我也不知道到底如何解释。是感觉可惜？是为了牺牲自己保住战友的性命？还是为了被留下来的人？还是纯粹是为了战争所带来的痛苦？ 我自己也不确定。 将来会不会再看有关战争的电影我也不晓得，想看和不想看在心里掺杂一半。

So often during runs, races, marathons and so on, we see people dashing in towards the finishing line, panting from exhaustion, perspiration drenched. What strikes me the most during a run with friend T, was that why most people only choose to run in only upon reaching the finishing line? You can see the amount of effort clearly on their faces, some elated or relieved that the run has finally finished, others plain tired, gasping and wheezing with much effort. I finished with friend T with a light jog, breezing through the finishing line. And this sudden thought came upon me. Coming in leisurely allows one (or at least me) to consolidate the emotions felt during the run. Perhaps you felt indignant that you got overtaken by someone you did not like, or you spotted some hot girl trying to make a pass at you. It allows you to reflect back on the run. Maybe you should have put in extra effort in the first 10 km so that your overall timing would have been better. Perhaps you should have wor...