thoughtshowerings

Slowly, bit by bit, I'm finding my way back to into books. I recall the irresistible draw towards them, the alternate time and space it almost always manages to transport me into, immersing me in the plot, spoiling me with imagination. I do not know how writers churn out several hundred pages of words, seemingly effortless only to produce stunning reads that etches itself in memories. Words taking shape into flesh and blood, characters moving and speaking. Damn, they're good! So, yes,I confess, I'm secretly a nerd that digs books and is excited by good reads. I think I can feel words, nevermind the fact I'm not really good with them. like when they describe a fire scene, I can almost see vermilion orange fused with red flames licking walls. The heat, like opening an oven all at once and feel the outburst of the searing heat. You cant really stop books, they intoxicate you, (unless it was some math text on deriving a geometric progression) and overflow you with places an...

My feelings at this precise moment are kind of difficult to describe. It lies somewhere between here and there, not too much leaning towards here, nor taking any preference to there, just plain ol' between here and there. Promotions came and went as quickly as the morning's cold gust of wind, leaving some refreshed and energised, while others only felt its chilly and lonely bitterness. Some see it as an opportunity, as an indication of perhaps rain? And some are indifferent. Feeling chilly and bitter, friend S could only emanate jealously(which he attempts to hide) and discontenment. Resolved to never put in effort ever again(for the upteenth time) with such vehement, friend S leaves me feeling between here and there. Even if I am blessed with the gift of gab; that I am able to charm the birds off tree branches and orang utans off vines, I was tongue-tied. Should I comfort him, perhaps telling him that we all will be promoted in time, which was of course the truth? No, that wou...

A tired mind is a weak mind, as I have found out and managed to draw the conclusion only recently, despite having known the fact long ago. You see, knowing something and assimilating it are entirely two different things. Tired minds are susceptible to emotion rushes. Especially anger, which swells up uncontrollably when the mind is tired. Patience dips, and tolerance levels are almost non exsistant. A string of words spoken carelessly or actions done could ignite the short fuse leading to an explosion of anger which refuses to subside and can only get worse. I do not deny that I fall into the above category and I do feel guilty that sometimes I unleash this beast onto innocent people. So now I hope that I can exercise some form of self restrain to prevent this from happening too often...

Argh! I hate outfields! It was definitely designed to test mental and physical endurance. The chiong suas, the damp, slimely, foul uniforms, camou-cream and most importantly, HEAT RASH. Why?!?!?!?! Moral dips majorly every outfield. Its like doing something I hate most. The worst part is, there are 2 outfields next week in a 6 day work week! OMG. just kill me. Armour Infantry, Armour + Infantry training :( Nothing gets close to this man. I feel so shallow talking about these kind of things considering the notion of why I had set this blog up in the first place. It was to hone and sharpen my language skills, expressing swirling, formless thoughts into words. Not to rant aimlessly, blabber, wail and moan about my predicament. But then again, I guess everyone's a naggy, complain-y bitch that feels that he or her is in the worst ever predicament on earth possible. And training has evidently taken a toll on my mental health, not even 70% cocoa chocolate or "Old Gold" as adver...

你身边的女人总是美丽 你追逐的爱情总是游戏 在你的眼里~ 我是你可以对饮言欢的朋友 你从不吝啬~ 催促我分享你的快乐 你开心的时候总是挥霍 你失意的片刻总是沉默 在你的眼里~ 我是你可以依靠倾吐的朋友 你从不忘记提醒~ 我分担你的寂寞 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点温柔的娇纵 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点自私的占有 你开心的时候总是挥霍~ 你失意的片刻总是沉默~ 在你的眼里~ 我是你可以依靠倾吐的朋友 你从不忘记~ 提醒我分担你的寂寞 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点温柔的娇纵 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点自私的占有 想做你~ 不变的恋人 想做你~ 一世的牵挂 想做你不只是朋友 喔.... 喔....~~~~~ 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点温柔的娇纵 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点自私的占有 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点温柔的娇纵 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点自私的占有

我觉得我得到的这一颗赤红，蹦动，温暖的心并没有附送说明书。明确的说，应该是刻意没有说明书吧。。。 感到无比愤怒的时候，我几忽无法控制心中的恨。怒火就像饿了五天，并且关在好小好小的笼子里的狮子门，霎时间让笼子的闸门开，任它们宰杀无辜。 感到喜悦的时候，心里感到的快活就像断了线的风筝似的，乘（程？）着无形的风浪愈飞愈高。没有受到线的控制，想到哪儿就轻飘飘，婀娜摇摆的去。 和有好感的人眼神交叉时，心里偏偏起舞。有如跳着节奏分明的佛拉明柯舞，时而快，时而慢。 可是不管是快或慢，每一个动作都带有强劲的力道，都配合着舞女炯炯有神的眼光。眼光似忽穿过外衣，内衣，直直射到心里最深处。 这些情感每一回都令我束手无策，搞得我好无助，无奈的让它紧紧地纠缠着我。 靠我的毅力根本不能摆脱它的恶势力。每一回都是它赢我输。 可是情感最终还是大脑的分泌，激素，所导致，不是吗？

Just got some good news via a mysterious phone call from a mysterious girl-sounding-woman,( I presume) using a private number (which is one of my pet peevee) when I was in the middle of a deep sleep yesterday-the kind which you normally dont feel like waking up. Mass sent sms to family, but surprising, I didnt feel entirely elated, exhilarated or exploding with excitement. Am I supposed to whoop in delight while in bed? Jump up and punch the air jubilously with my fist? My guess was because I had already expected the good news, seeing how the interview went. Strange isnt it? Getting something fancy that I had eyed due to a moment's of jest, at first i didnt even think something like that would even happen to me. I thought I was just the average guy, going about doing his less than spectacular things, leading his far-less-than-wild life. And then, I got it. Nope, no tears of fierce joy, strong emotional hugs, just acceptance. Weird isnt it, when you get something you had already you...