Skip to main content

Of insecurities and jealousy all embroiled in one ugly mess

Of insecurities and jealousy all embroiled in one ugly mess



sometimes, i really feel strongly indignant at what others have: fast cars, good looks, great body, good brains, blindingly luminous future/career outlooks, relationships, never-seem-to-end cash at hand. But then i go to sleep, and they dont bother me again. 

until i feel insecure again. i guess insecurities and feelings of indignant-ness/envy never really go away. 

Save me the nonsense of "be happy with what you have" or "be practical, stop having lofty thoughts". That cannot really be possible can it? I'm highly irrational. So many insatiable wants and insecurities manifesting itself in different mutated forms plaguing my mind. 

Then again I guess the trick here is to not constantly harp upon these comparisons all the time. Still, I feel that it is good to flesh out these thoughts that are sometimes making me feel very 心里不平衡。At least I am actively identifying and recognising at what makes me slightly off balance at heart or really, at mind, since emotions dont really originate from the heart.

Popular posts from this blog

Mentalist

* Mentalist * Sunshine bursts through dull grey-hued clouds, its rays filtering down onto Kyle's face. He wrinkled his eyes in response, long tanned fingers shield them. He never liked such dreamy situations, the sun kissing the endless plains, glades of wildflower dot the country side. He thought that such scenarios only served to conceal what was bad inside everyone. Yes, he believed that there resided a little evil, a touch of cruelty, a hint of darkness within everyone. In fact, he relished acts, big or small, of twisted intentions. He always knew he was "strange" as put it by people who knew him. Unique, was what he rather be termed, perhaps bordering on "superior". Those comments didnt affect him, all they did was to consolidate the unrefutable fact that Kyle enjoyed in watching people suffer, writhe in pain, bathed in loneliness. You see, Kyle has a special gift. At first he thought that it was just strokes of coincidences, but soon the frequencies of th...
Read more

Emo Song of The Moment

你身边的女人总是美丽 你追逐的爱情总是游戏 在你的眼里~ 我是你可以对饮言欢的朋友 你从不吝啬~ 催促我分享你的快乐 你开心的时候总是挥霍 你失意的片刻总是沉默 在你的眼里~ 我是你可以依靠倾吐的朋友 你从不忘记提醒~ 我分担你的寂寞 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点温柔的娇纵 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点自私的占有 你开心的时候总是挥霍~ 你失意的片刻总是沉默~ 在你的眼里~ 我是你可以依靠倾吐的朋友 你从不忘记~ 提醒我分担你的寂寞 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点温柔的娇纵 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点自私的占有 想做你~ 不变的恋人 想做你~ 一世的牵挂 想做你不只是朋友 喔.... 喔....~~~~~ 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点温柔的娇纵 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点自私的占有 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点温柔的娇纵 你从不知道我想做的不只是朋友~~~ 还想有那么一点点自私的占有
Read more

耕田

当空烈日之下， 我弯着腰，头上顶着淡黄的圆型太阳帽，“啊，好热!" 心中喃喃着。 不自不觉当中，我用幼黑的手背擦掉额头上的汗珠。早已紧紧卷起来的长袖和裤子以经忪脱，被田里肥沃的泥土和水弄脏。 “嗯，腰好酸痛！” 赤裸的脚踩着凉爽软烂的泥巴，它从脚子中的细缝慢慢地溜出来，感觉好满祝！ 但我不在乎，眼里和心中只有手中那一株一株幼小，翠绿的秧苗。 说起来插秧这事，也真有趣。 弯着腰，感觉好像是在向地球膜拜，感谢她奉献她那肥沃的土地让最初的人们懂得利用，从而生存，直到今天的高楼大厦。 为一前进的办法就是后退。弯腰，后退，把手中的秧苗一株一株有制序地插入土地，才能把稻田插满。听起来好像还蛮茅盾，但人生就是如此。想要到达前方就得先知道如何后退，不是吗？ 陀着背，弯着腰，一面插秧，一面以像似退后的型动前进，眼里看到的除了是油绿的秧苗，混浑的雨水，就是朵朵白云印在蔚蓝的天空。
Read more