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Feeling jealous and dumb.

This week hasnt been good, for my mental health at least.

1) Went out dinner with my BMT mates. Chatted and got to know how's everyone progressed so far two years on:

A - Is on USP
AL - Is going to UCLA to do Law
S - Is going to Imperial to do Chemistry on a A*Star scholarship
C - Is currently in Medical School
J - Is on a bond free scholarship from Shanghai to do Chinese at Fudan U.
D - Is going to do Medicine overseas
So yes, I feel darn puny and small and dumb sitting with all of them. Choking me with all that smartness and effortless-ness. As well as talking about whether they should change their course to like Law or Medicine so that they can earn more money.

I truly feel dumb.


2) Friend W, has unbelievably, signed on. Its a "she" by the way. Havent talked to her since after primary school. Stalked her on FB. haha. It gets pretty bored in office sometimes.

She leads such a colourful life, visiting Egypt to see pyramids, going to Iceland to see the Northern Lights and do glacier hiking, Paris to see Eiffel Tower, UK, Morocco, Sahara, Germany, Berlin, Slovakia, Spain, Rome, Ireland, Austria etc etc.

DAMNNNNNNNN. I dream also cant fulfill my desire to go travelling to see all these beautiful places, experience the cultures.

Jealousy, it feels very very very very bad, uncomfortable. You just wished you were in her place.
Her photos made me salivate.


So yes, power combo for me this week. Feeling stupidly jealous or jealously-stupid. Maybe envious would be a better, slightly more positive word for description.

But yeah, looking at my own lousy, un-exciting, un-thrilling, un-whatever life, I gave a tiny sigh.

Then again, there will never be an end to all comparisons, will there?
So I should by right be happy with whatever I have now...ONCE I finish feeling very dumb and envious and unfair. hahahahaha.

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