Skip to main content

2nd week of the holidays!

Sigh. Its already the second week of the holidays. And the worst part is, its ending. I'm super behind my schedule for revision. I cannot imagine how I am ever going to make it in time for mid years.

The fact is, I am terribly afraid that I'll disappoint not only myself, but everyone around me. I mean, come on, I do not want to lie to myself, I am not very intelligent to begin with, as much as I want to believe I am. I cant memorise things at the first glance and cant handle higher order questions without needing much aid.

And to add to that, I keep going out! And that, is really precious time wasted meant for studying.
I am having second reservations about the outing next friday. I do no expect myself to be going.
But I do not know how to confront my friends. " Hey, sorry dudes, I needa mug" ?

Is that how? And I do not feel like lying by saying that I'm not feeling well or that I have family matters. It somehow feels mighty uncomfortable, sort of like tightness around the chest to lie.


____________________________________________________________________

On the brighter side, my caterpillar finally became a butterfly!
I am very happy/excited about it. Because I have never done anything quite like this before in my life. Catching a caterpillar and raising it until it becomes a chrysalis and finally a butterfly.

It all seems very unreal. Like things you'll only see on TV, like barney, watching the caucasian kids keeping caterpillars in glass jars. Or like books you borrow in the library where they show pictures of caucasian (again) kids keeping caterpillars till maturity. Never have I once thought about doing it myself, which is quite weird, isnt it?

And neither have any friends thought about it before, I think we all lack a curiosity/investigative/exploring nature. Its quite sad actually. Even my parents were very excited ( although they tried to hide it from me)

Anyway, I feel fatherly. HAHA, not.
____________________________________________________________________

I MUST DO MY BEST! Adopting the Olympic Motto, "Citius Altius Fortius"which is Latin for "Faster, Higher, Stronger".

Come on baby, YOU CAN DO IT =D

Popular posts from this blog

Mentalist

* Mentalist * Sunshine bursts through dull grey-hued clouds, its rays filtering down onto Kyle's face. He wrinkled his eyes in response, long tanned fingers shield them. He never liked such dreamy situations, the sun kissing the endless plains, glades of wildflower dot the country side. He thought that such scenarios only served to conceal what was bad inside everyone. Yes, he believed that there resided a little evil, a touch of cruelty, a hint of darkness within everyone. In fact, he relished acts, big or small, of twisted intentions. He always knew he was "strange" as put it by people who knew him. Unique, was what he rather be termed, perhaps bordering on "superior". Those comments didnt affect him, all they did was to consolidate the unrefutable fact that Kyle enjoyed in watching people suffer, writhe in pain, bathed in loneliness. You see, Kyle has a special gift. At first he thought that it was just strokes of coincidences, but soon the frequencies of th...
Read more

Feeling jealous and dumb.

This week hasnt been good, for my mental health at least. 1) Went out dinner with my BMT mates. Chatted and got to know how's everyone progressed so far two years on: A - Is on USP AL - Is going to UCLA to do Law S - Is going to Imperial to do Chemistry on a A*Star scholarship C - Is currently in Medical School J - Is on a bond free scholarship from Shanghai to do Chinese at Fudan U. D - Is going to do Medicine overseas So yes, I feel darn puny and small and dumb sitting with all of them. Choking me with all that smartness and effortless-ness. As well as talking about whether they should change their course to like Law or Medicine so that they can earn more money. I truly feel dumb. 2) Friend W, has unbelievably, signed on. Its a "she" by the way. Havent talked to her since after primary school. Stalked her on FB. haha. It gets pretty bored in office sometimes. She leads such a colourful life, visiting Egypt to see pyramids, going to Iceland to see the Northern Lights ...
Read more

New Semester

Hi, I'm back, after what seems like an eternity. Its a new start to the academic year! I am conflicted. I am not sure whether to look forward to finishing school (at last!) or to feel a sudden emptiness about school ending. (What? Already?) No doubt, school has been kind to me, it has let me learn many things, academically or otherwise. Its great seeing and experimenting with different styles of working with people, I think that's the part I like most about school. Other than that, school feels like a cocoon of warmth and protection, as though nothing really bad could possibly happen. I mean, its a huge playground for youths to connect and try out and experiment with identity, its where you really test out which identity you want to adopt when you finally step out into the world right? But at the same time, I'm really eager to step out and prove my worth, the saying " The world is your Oyster" is not for nothing you know. So I'm feeling increasingly ...
Read more